How many times have you ever felt lost and unloved?
countless
After reading one of them blogs. many indeed have the perfect family. Don't get me wrong cause I do have the nicest family still. But it is just only too recent when things changed for the better. No blamed issues, no confrontations (which I always dread to have), no desperation need for love as for all I know now, I am fully contented with the way it is now.
I remembered when I was facing a turmoil of feelings for things like incomplete wants which I never get (like some freedom to go out), money that I earn was never mine to spend and pretty wrecked by the gossip people made about my family back then which they find it funny to spread the word. I remembered the first peck from my mom this year. I remembered the disappointed look on my father almost 3 years ago. I remembered the dependent brothers lost and confused since last year. I felt like I was so bad that time and thought there was never going back to the way it was.
I can't help it but to blame myself sometimes and how can anyone ever forgive someone like me cause it takes a whole lot of things to trust or even to treat someone like me nicely after all that I've said and done. So, I hoped and hope that I am better by being me now.
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